Next week members of the newly merged Conservative Party of Canada will hold their
party's first convention in Montreal, (Quebec, Canada.) As a member of this party
who actually attends the occasional local meeting, I ended up getting myself elected
as a delegate to this event. I know many of you are burning with envy because it is
I who will be debating Canadian politics and policy with other Conservatives.
It's going to be quite the (sorry for the pun) party I'm sure. Right now,
local hotels, restaurants, bars and prostitutes are gearing up for what
promises to be the rip-roaringist convention of the century...at least so far.
To help out those convention-goers who might be more interested in the social
aspects of the event, I offer these 10 pickup lines which might help you to...uh...
get your vote into ballot box.
10.
"Do you want to come over to my place and see how big my pension is?"
9.
"I've got almost twice as big a caucus as I used to."
8.
"Do you want to see my Big Blue Machine?"
7.
"Want to know why they call me the party whip?"
6.
"Go through this 500 page briefing book on government accountability and get back to me with your comments." (Used only by Stephen Harper.)
5.
"May I slip my amendment into your private members' bill?"
4.
"Brian Mulroney said the same thing when he called me yesterday."
3.
"Would you be open to a merger?"
2.
"I'm extremely conservative, but for you I'd make an exception."
1.
"Would you like to see my little Honourable Member?"
